Ever since he got the hell out of California's governor's office in January, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been moving faster than a T-1000 chasing a troublemaking tween. First there was his new cartoon, "The Governator," then he started shopping a fifth "Terminator" movie, then news came out that he'd be starring in a film called "Cry Macho," THEN rumors of a "Twins" sequel leaked AND NOW the biggest news yet: He's getting a divorce. In a joint statement released yesterday, Arnold and Maria Shriver announced their separation after a 25-year marriage. We reacted like this.
But you can only mourn the power couple for so long. As Arnold has shown over the past couple of months, he moves on quickly. So in an attempt to help him set up his next relationship, we've lined up a few prospective candidates to be the next Mrs. Schwarzenegger. Here they are:
Barbara Bush
Why she'd be into Arnold: Despite her family tree, Babs leans left. She supports gay marriage and lives in New York, which means she doesn't mind pissing daddy off a little bit. Could there be a better way to make him mad than by getting with a dude who's only one year his junior?
Why Arnold would be into her: After being married to a Kennedy, Arnold still yearns for the love of political progeny, and there's no political family--other than the Kennedys--more powerful than the Bushes. As stated above, Barbara has a liberal streak, and we know that Arnold likes to argue in the bedroom.
Scarlett Johansson
Why she'd be into Arnold: As ScarJo's love affair with Sean Penn shows, she's into wrinkly actors with a penchant for getting political. Penn's an activist, but Arnold is the real deal.
Why Arnold would be into her: She's Scarlett Johansson.
Rosie Huntington-Whitely
Why she'd be into Arnold: She's currently dating Jason Statham, the closest thing our sorry excuse of a generation has for an action star.
Why Arnold would be into her: Those lips.
Snooki
Why she'd be into Arnold: There never has been, and there never will be, a gorilla juicehead more gorillalike or more juicy than Arnold.
Why Arnold would be into her: Arnold is buddies with Danny DeVito, proving that he loves tiny, round, funny people.
This Brazilian Woman
Why she'd be into Arnold: He's rich and famous and could move her into this house.
Why Arnold would be into her: As you can see here, Arnold already is.
Why Arnold would be into her: As you can see here, Arnold already is.
Credit to Adam K. Raymond in Celebs
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